1/21/20
We've all been there. You want to fall asleep quickly. You're exhausted from the day and need rest for the early morning to come. You want to be unconscious right now. But it's not that simple. Your head hits the pillow and your mind chooses now to start running away. You uncontrollably toss and turn. Somehow you're more uncomfortable in the supposed comfort of your bed. You try to control it, but the harder you try, the more awake and aware you feel. So you check the clock. Two hours of torture have passed, and still nothing works. Finally, when you've lost all hope: when you've decided on downing four cups of coffee tomorrow... that's when you drift off. After an uncomfortable sleep, you wake up a few hours later, far from refreshed.
When it happens, it seems inevitable. But how do we avoid this? How do we take control of our nights and harness the power of falling asleep at any time? We can turn to science for ideas, but at the end of the day, it's about what's comfortable and works for you. From my time in the army, I've experienced sleep in all conditions: standing up, submerged in puddles of freezing rain, covered in a bath of sweat, and other uncomfortable positions. Still, I've experienced those dreaded nights like the one I mentioned above. I'll go through some steps I use to completely avoid them. Hopefully, with some of these tools, you'll never have to experience the severe discomfort of a sleepless bed.
Let's start before bed.
1. Make your bedroom colder.
This is hands down the most important for me. When I'm comfortably cool, sinking into relaxation happens much faster. Our bodies need to drop a few degrees before falling asleep, so a cool environment will help do that more quickly. A 65 degree room is about the sweet spot, but below that number is better than above it. Not only will it help in cutting time before sleep, but it also increases quality and length of REM sleep.
2. Take a hot shower or bath before bed.
Exposure to the hot water in a shower or bath causes your blood to rush to the surface of your skin. When you get out, all of that heat is released by your body into the environment. This helps to jump start the cooling your body temp, which you can keep in sleep mode with a cold room.
3. Get rid of the clock.
The worst part of sleeplessness is the anxiety that comes with it. The clock only makes it worse, because you use it to count every minute of sleep you're losing. Keeping your clocks out of sight or even out of the room will help your bed be a place without stress.
4. Optimize Your Circadian Rhythm
The human body is wired to build daily habits, and sleep is one of the biggest contributors to a healthy Circadian Rhythm. For our ancestors, sun down meant bedtime. With unnatural blue light and constant distraction from our phones, it's easy to be kept up. Try putting the phone away an hour before bed. If that's not possible for you, try buying a pair of blue light glasses or exploring the night light settings on your phone. Other habits are important to time thoughtfully, as well. Napping, eating, caffeine, and working out can all keep you up if done too close to bed. Try to keep naps, workouts, and coffee before around 2 pm. It helps to eat no later than 7, and stay away from those midnight snacks if you can. A routine can help keep your circadian rhythm in check, and it's important to relax before shutting your eyes. An example of an effective habit like this is reading fiction. A story can put you to sleep, turn off the problem solving part of your brain, and keep you away from blue light.
As for practices in bed, after you shut your eyes...
Before doing anything, remind yourself that the day is over. Let go of any worries or unsolved problems. Tomorrow will receive your full attention, but it's important to change your mindset to acceptance and departure before trying to sleep.
5. Muscle Relaxation
After you've committed to bed, it's important to release tension in your body. Start with your head and face, relaxing the forehead, eyes, and cheeks. Continue that process for every area of your body, letting every muscle fall as if you were already asleep. More signals will consequently be sent to your brain, reminding it that it's sleepy time. You should feel an added weight to yourself.
6. Mindfulness Meditation
Experiencing sensations in the way that meditation allows will free your mind. Your thoughts pull you on a leash, often bringing up the past or future and problems to solve. If you focus on sinking into the mattress or any tingling, it'll further allow your mind to let go of the day and transition into full comfort and acceptance.
7. Think in the Right Way.
At the end of the day, falling asleep all comes down to what's happening in your mind. This next tip might sound a little bit out there, but it works for me. I discovered this trick by noticing what my mind is doing just before I fall asleep. First, I envision myself relaxed in nature. Either on a hammock in the woods or floating on a canoe, these images push me further into relaxation and heaviness. Next, I allow my mind to surprise me with the pictures it creates next. My thoughts jump from image to image of physical objects and textures. These are different than the thoughts that keep us awake. They don't take any mental energy, and often appear naturally if allowed to. They tell a story rather than solve a problem, and I've found that when I can do this, I'm not far from being asleep.
If nothing's working... still...
8. Get Out of Bed
Trying to force yourself into sleep will not help. That'll make you tense and stressed, making it harder to effectively drift off. If you've really gotten to this point and you can't corral your thoughts, get out of bed. Staying there will associate the anxiety with your bed itself. Instead, do a relaxing or boring activity for a few minutes. When you do that, your anxiety will fall away, your intense sleepiness will return, and you'll see what I mean about being able to fall asleep in any position.
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